The Frying Pan of Fear, Part 3

 Remember Martha, the usually cheerful and light-hearted young woman who describes the fearful emotions she experiences even thinking about cooking for a family holiday as “searing in the frying pan of fear”?  Martha’s a person with a curious nature who truly enjoys life, and she wants to use her zen-cuisine practice to learn more about herself.  Martha decides to explore her negative feelings about this circumstance a bit more. She intends to become aware of the substance as well as the process of her thinking. She mindfully observes the arising, presence and disappearance of the thoughts, ideas about the thoughts, and the subsequent emotions. They interact as mental formations. Martha wants to recognize when these mental formations first arise..to catch her initial thought pattern and to look carefully at it. Martha realizes her thoughts are habits, rooted in the past.  She thinks deeply about this, using her conscious breathing practice to keep her grounded in the present moment as she observes. She asks herself if she holds on to this false image of an unsuccessful cook, what will happen in the future? She understands that it’s not a direction she wants to go in. Martha begins to see the suffering she will cause herself if she continues to embrace this false idea of being inept in the kitchen. She also discovers as she takes the time to fully expose her thoughts to awareness, they transform into a more positive, healthier direction.

As Martha looks at her fear of cooking for her in-laws, and at her accompanying anxiety, she realizes it's her thoughts that trigger an unhealthy emotion she gets trapped in. Practicing zen-cuisine’s mindfulness is a skill Martha can use to her benefit. She catches her mind as it’s creating anxiety, and acknowledges the circumstances, simply saying to herself, “My mind wants me to be fearful.”  “My mind wants me to be anxious about cooking.” Instead of fighting, resisting, or trying to suppress her fear and anxiety, Martha acknowledges their existence. In doing this she feels these negative emotions, fear and anxiety, lose their strength and loosen their grip. Spaciousness opens inside. Martha describes it as widening her heart to make room for the present moment. It's a balanced feeling that intrigues Martha.

  Martha says, “I am very interested in seeing what this present moment holds for me. Can I enjoy my time in the kitchen? I’ve discovered that the more I approach the holiday meal preparation in the spirit of curiosity, the more I can be ‘me’, the real me…who I truly am. I can be happy, and manifest positive energy. I feel joyful. I guess that’s the best way to describe it. I’m open to accepting whatever arises in this new cooking experience, for that’s what I’m beginning to see -- that every experience is fresh and new, and I can leave my old concepts of myself as a kitchen-failure behind. My true self, so long lost in the sizzle and sputter of the frying pan of fear, is now the ground of my activities.  I respond to life as it happens, rather than reacting from an identity I created from a past experience. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it to me and my family for me to follow this zen-cuisine practice. It’s taking me in a direction I want to go. And through it, I can see the frying pan of fear is an illusion. That also makes me feel more confident.” 

Like Martha, we can also look deeply at our false reactions to cooking, and through cooking, look deeply at life. This looking and experiencing the present moment empowers us to understand our own ‘frying pan of fear’ and see our true self more clearly. We respond to life in the spaciousness of the present moment. We come to realize that from the very beginning whatever our frying pan of fear is, it too is an illusion. As we practice with this insight, our time in the kitchen is increasingly open and spacious and joyful. Even our ‘failures in cooking’ (and they still may happen) teach us to just be with whatever is happening, to be ‘just this’ – the experience of life itself. What else could we be? Join us next week, for Martha’s next zen-cuisine practice with ‘the frying pan of fear’ as she turns the heat down even further.